You are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David you are sculpiting is you.
Mi-a trebuit 32 de ani sa-mi dau seama. Hainele, cel putin in societatea actuala, nu il reprezinta pe om, ci gandirea lui despre sine, aspitariile sau fricile, valoarea pe care o are el ca om in proprii sai ochi.
Ceea ce vreau sa spun e ca un om poate avea in ochii celor din jur o cu totul alta valoare decat in ochii proprii. De aici, cred, nedumerirea unora: “de ce te imbraci asa?”
Alegerea hainelor pe moment poate fi o chestie de stare. Alegerea garderobei e o chestie de viziune.
Bremen a fost minunat. Pentru ca a fost cu oameni minuati. Multumesc Dragos, Nux, Gogo si Diana. Si lui Coen care a stat acasa cu catica 🙂 
Three weeks ago I had a discussion with Anutza and Oana. Do we feel that the first impression people have of us is right? Does our first impression change as we get to know the person more closely? Do we know what impression people have of us? Is it the same impression we have of ourselves? Now, three weeks later, I found a clue: attitude. My point is most of the time we are not aware of our attitude, we are not aware of what we project. When people tell us you are so and so.. we frown and say “that’s not me”, you’ve got the wrong impression. Could be, but I think it’s quite possible that we ourselves have the wrong impression of ourselves. There is so little that reaches us at a conscious level. Our own gestures, our own facial mimic are most of the time unknown to us. And yet, that is what we are most often judged by.
Have you ever watched yourself while talking to other people? Webcams, for example, allow you to see your own mimic as you talk; to see and to judge as if you were a stranger. Have you ever been shocked by what you saw? I was. I happen to have an expressive mimic – which is most of the time to my disadvantage – since my shock. However, it is an honest expression, and I persist in considering that an advantage. Why? because now I realised there’s a switch. In the blink of an eye you can switch your attitude from negative to positive. And it is not a switch between truth and lies. It’s a switch from one true attitude to another true attitude. I tend to judge a lot, even when there is nothing to judge, so for me the simple switch is: “I do not choose to critise, I choose to listen”. Now I understand why some of my teachers in University dreaded me – they could see clearly on my face whether they were on track or not. They had instant feedback. I, on the other hand, had no idea I was giving feed-back, I was after all silent.
Our reaction to the world: a matter of attitude.
Our reaction to others: a matter of attitude.
Others’ reaction to us: a matter of attitude.
Love, life and death, religion, realtionships…you name it – a matter of attitude.
Looking back, I realise that even as a teacher (most teachers probably will agree to this) what I appreciated most was not brains, a good answer or pretty eyes. It was attitude. You grade performance but you appreciate attitude: towards yourself, towards peers, authority, studying, attitude towards self.
I guess the same can be said about choosing friends. We were in highschool, a girl who was my neighbour, my classmate, even my deskmate asked me once: why do you call X your friend? why am I not your friend? I had on idea what to answer, I only knew her observation was right. Now, more than 15 years later I know the answer. Yes, her attitude: always negativistic, always running herself down, always pessimistic. There was/still is something about her that I liked though: she tried to understand – and for that, and the fact that we still keep in touch despite the fact that we live in two different countries, I do consider her a friend.
Two more examples: have you ever refused to show/keep pictures of yourself because you didn’t recognize the attitude in the pic as yours? And for those who have a pet: do you interpret your pet’s expression? I do it all the time. I have no idea how much of it is my own interpretation and how much it’s her “attitude”.
There you go: we project an attitude we are most of the time unaware of. We judge people by things they are unaware of (mimic, body posture, gestures). No wonder there’s so many misunderstandings. I say we need to become aware.
Prima dilema: eu in ce limba scriu? Pentru cine scriu? Cine vrea sa citeasca? Va veni oare o zi cand voi scrie in olandeza?
Andreea Boef's Blog 